Lee's Shirt
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: This is the crazy story about how Lee's shirt got ripped.  Kind of.  Well, it isn't the only thing in the fic.  But to know what I'm talking about, you gotta read it!  :3  Hope you enjoy :


_**A/N**__: Hello all! I shall try to get this out ASAP! YEAH!_

_Ok, I need to cut back on the sugary things, don't I? Meh. Sorry for the… lengthy absence x3_

_**Warnings**__: Um… it's me. Rawr! Be afraid! FEAR THE OOC-NESS! FEAR IT! *Ahem*  
><em>

_**Dedication**__: This is to ze wifey, Eidolon Twilight Princess! If this doesn't help cheer thee up… well, nothing I can do will x3_

_**Disclaimer**__: No, I have not scared anyone into giving me the fandom XDD_

Lee woke up with a groan. Nothing odd there. However, something else was odd, and it didn't take him long to notice that something was amiss.

He closed his eyes to see if the uncomfortable feeling would go away. When he realized that it would not, he looked for the source, and came upon a horrible truth: his shirt was ripped clean down the middle. His abs and chest were embarrassingly exposed. The worst part is? He doesn't remember how it happened.

_My shirt was whole yesterday… what happened?_

Before he could get any further in his thoughts, a hand from the right trailed up said exposed skin. Lee nearly jumped off the bed.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he roared in panic.

"Whoa, calm down there, sweetie. You liked it last night."

"Who the hell are you? Get away from me."

"You don't remember? I'm Emily. You're silly Lee." The mysterious girl giggled as she sat up.

Lee watched the girl as she brushed her orange hair out of her face, lost in thought. As she slid out of bed, he noticed one significant detail…

She was completely, in the buff, naked. Nude. Bare. Well, except for the black boots. And the glasses she just put on. But completely lacking clothes.

_Why isn't she wearing clothes? Did it involve… me?_

"Hon, do you really not remember what happened? Your face looks completely blank."

"No, I'm afraid I don't remember. At all. Where are your clothes?"

Emily sighed. "They're over there, next to yours." She pointed at a few spots in the room. She giggled again. "They look like they had some fun. Kinda like us."

"What happened? Please tell me."

"Ok, follow me. I think I know who else was involved."

"… Just how many people were with us?" Lee's eyes were as big as discs.

"No, there weren't any orgies…" she sweatdropped. "I mean, if you don't remember, then someone must have drugged you. And I have an inkling about who it was."

Ten minutes later found the duo in a familiar location. At least for Lee.

"What? Are you ACTUALLY saying that-"

"Shhh, calm down, let's go inside."

They knocked, stepped inside, and she called for the resident. Said resident stumbled down towards them, and his eyes widened. "You! What have you come for, you crazies?"

Lee was, well, shell-shocked, to say the least. He's never been called a crazy by anybody. Ever.

Emily stared directly at him, and said, "We want to know what happened last night. I have reason to believe that YOU were the cause of Lee's loss of memory."

Both males looked at Emily, and thought the same thing:

_What kind of hooker IS she?_

The house resident looked at her, then sighed. "Fine. I'll be perfectly honest. Do you really want to know what happened to you Ray?"

"It's Lee."

"Yes, that's what I said. Anyway, I shall start at the beginning. It was 4:30 in the afternoon. I had just made up a batch of special brownies for my friends. And I mean 'special'. Anyway, I must've put the wrong stuff in the brownies, so when Ray came over here in the evening to have one-"

"It's LEE."

"Yes, I've been saying that. I don't see what the problem is. Anyway, Ray here had a brownie, and was acting crazy since. Not that he was ever normal, but this was crazy, even for him."

"Excuse me, but what did you put in the brownies?" Emily interjected.

"Well, it wasn't no weed, I'll tell you that. I have reason to think it was my roofies."

"… Roofies?" Lee asked. "What are those?"

"Roofies, basically, are a date-rape drug, hon. They leave you with no recollection of what happened to you, nor what you did."

"Holy shit. Did anyone rape me?"

"Calm down Ray, no one raped you. Although, plenty of people consented to your seduction."

Lee tried his best to ignore the name-mishap. "So, you're saying… I made people have sex with me?" This was a foreign concept to Lee. He respected people's boundaries. _I guess when drugged I act-_

"No, no, not at all. They all agreed quite happily. I believe they were wooed by your… exotic dancing on the table in the living room."

Emily clapped her hands once, hard. "Oh! This is where I come in! I showed up, because parties are beacons to me, and I was feeling… lonely. So, I decided to check this one out. The first things I saw were you dancing on the table, yes, and this guy," she pointed at the house resident, "attempting to climb up the chimney through his fireplace. While it was on."

"What? I was into the spirit of freedom and doing what I wanted. And that just happened to be climbing up my fireplace while the fire was still burning. I still can't believe I put the fire out when I landed on it. My butt put it out, can you believe it Ray?"

Lee sweatdropped. "It's Lee! LEE, LEE, LEE!"

"Yes, that's what I've been saying! Anyways, you were quite popular with EVERYBODY. Not just the ladies."

"… Just how many people did I come on to?"

"Hm, well, according to my calculations… a lot."

Both males sweatdropped. _I could've figured that much._

Emily paused for dramatic effect. "Ok, so, about 8:30 I finally got you alone, and you were a wild sexy beast. It was crazy, and I liked it. A lot. And apparently, you liked me too. So we left the party that was here, in this very room-which looks immaculate by the way-to go and finish what we started in private. The rest of the details I can spare Mr. Roofie from," she leaned in close and whispered to Lee, "and besides, I think you could imagine very well what we did."

Lee shivered thinking about it. Both thrills of excitement and apprehension were running through him. But he whispered back, "Very well."

Emily stood up. "I'm outta here. By the way, no need to worry about paying me, Lee. I already took your stripper money."

"Wha-my stripper money? Oh, you mean-"

"Yes, people stuck dollar bills in any crevice they could find whilst you were table dancing. It certainly added to your allure. See ya!"

"What? That's it? You're just leaving?"

"Well, what do you want me to do? I'm a hooker. Simply smarter than the average hooker."

"Just answer me one question, Emily."

"Shoot."

"Was it you that ripped my shirt?"

"Oh, nope, that was Tao over there. He felt you needed cool air right after having his butt on fire."

"Ray, I think you should keep your shirt like that, too. It suits your untamed side well."

"For the last time… IT'S LEE!"

_**A/N**__: Finally, FINALLY, got it done :D Ok, ok, that was a bit different from my usual, but I sure hope you liked it :)_

_Don't forget to leave this rusty writer a review, telling her how much you liked it, hahahahahahahahaha._

_Peace and love!_

_chocolatexloverx16_


End file.
